This after two years now of major depression that has left me in a state of being that I can only describe as depleted.
Dr. Peter C. Whybrow writes in A Mood Apart: The Thinker's Guide to Emotion and Its Disorders:
[There] are ... aberrations of emotion and mood, changes in the housekeeping functions of the brain that regulate sleep, appetite, energy, and sexual function, and disturbances of thinking and concentration ... the extraordinary diversity of events and experiences that can trigger the illness suggests that there is a final common pathway of dysregulation ... It is not only mood that has changed but the ability to thoughtfully negotiate the social complexity of everyday life -- the essential key to adaptation and survival -- and to orchestrate the fundamental rhythms of the body.
The first italics are mine; these glitches in my body's "housekeeping functions" are the tenacious hangover of the more acute illness, which finally seemed to pass late this fall. My feeling-sense is more stable and radiant; my thoughts about matters of meaning are more moderate; I'm wanting to be in consistent relation with my close kin. The suffocating emotional weight of depression has eased (Sweet relief!!) ... and I remain so easily exhausted and spent in body.
The basics ... the basics. Breathe ... rest ... sleep ... drink water ... eat well ... move with ease ... keep the vital fluids flowing. Touch and let yourself be touched. Nourish the depleted brain and so much of the rest will follow ...
Dr. Whybrow's book affirms what I'd come to suspect about one of the fundaments of chronic depression. The chapter on depression, "Darkness Visible: The Experience of Depression", is worth the price of the book ... and lifts a dusty old shroud of self-blame from my shoulders. It lays no blame anywhere, actually ... and it makes clear the urgency for basic, consistent nourishment and self-care.
As tired as I am right now, I'm going to take a shower and then visit one of my favourite families in this corner of the world ... We have a birthday to celebrate ... Our Dani is turning 33 today!
